Episode 2: Donald Mbeutcha

On this week's episode, I am joined by my good friend Donald Mbeutcha. A proud Father of 5 who's not shy in de-bunking the taboos around Fatherhood. Donald is incredibly open about his own experiences and personal struggles on his own Fatherhood journey so far. This is The Diary of a Dad Podcast.

This episode contains some difficult themes that are discussed in a sensitive manner.
Show notes below..

 

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Produced by Feed Ignite ⚡️   https://feedignite.com

00:00 Intro

2:40 Donald's childhood story

4:58 "No solid men around me"

06:10 "Always good with kids"

07:30 "Mum always told me I was man of the house"

09:00 "no one ever told me how to be a man..'

10:10 what was it like at the start of your relationship?

12:00 "you have to date yourself for a year..to figure out who you are.."

15:10 "had I not had that year I may not have found the one.."

16:18 did you intend to have kids straight away after marriage?

"we had lots of plans but had our first after a year.."

18:30 " I was now responsible for 2 other human beings.. I was fascinated..I was in awe of my wife..the process..nature.."

19:43 "classic mistake, asked what have you been doing all day.."

 

20:45 waters breaking

21:45  "when my daughter came I just cried..was in awe..that first time of being a dad...it's something special.."

22:53 were you prepared and who were you speaking to for advice?

"I was doing a lot of research, there weren't many people to help with advice, to help prepare mentally.."

25:30 "the mother sometimes has more support, but first time Dads have to support the family and carry on maybe without the same level of help.."

27:43 "did you naturally want to grow the family beyond 1 child.."

"Always wanted to get to 3 and give them the attention they individually need.."

30:08 what's the biggest challenge? Biggest jump? 2 to 3 (outnumbered)

32:06 what was the day to day life like?

"it was tough..have to help but still get out to work even harder to provide.."

34:18 "I wasn't getting enough attention..I love my family..my home.. but there's a parting that grows" 

35:50 "just because you have kids you don't stop living.."

36:40 what's most important relationship with kids or spouse?

37:30 homeschooling

39:40 'it was very important for us to have that time..to instill their personalities.."

40:30 can you speak about your 4th pregnancy?

42:45 "going to midwife..can't find a heartbeat.. 

43:50 "unfortunately there's no heartbeat..frozen..never think you'd be that parent"

45:50  "it hurts me that other men want to be father's but this happens and can't.."

48:25 "where are the other men this happens to.. you feel so alone..you think you're gonna hear that cry..felt guilty for laughing.."

50:40 how did you manage the need to look after yourself in this time?

"I didn't want to.. suicidal..can't contain it..didn't know what to do.."

54:50 "a lot of the focus of support is for the mum's..but what happens to the dads and children.."

57:25 "the help for the man is there it's finding it"

01:01:19 moving on after the loss

01:03:44 getting through next pregnancy week by week

01:05:49 "you have the most dynamic relationship with your dead child.."

01:07:24 what's one moment stands out the most as a Father?